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 How to Get Over a Break Up..(maybe this can help!!) PART II

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kenjch
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Number of posts : 72
Age : 38
Location : Quezon City
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Registration date : 2008-11-03

PostSubject: How to Get Over a Break Up..(maybe this can help!!) PART II   Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:12 pm


[edit] Warnings

*
Don't look for so many distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache that you fail to process the emotions adequately. You're supposed to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Think about it - what kind of person could just say, "Whatever" and walk away as if nothing had happened? Ride it out - turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse, and can actually prolong the entire grieving process. If you try to hide from the pain, it just waits around the corner and jumps out at you as soon as the temporary relief of your "distraction" wears off. The best and only way to get to the other side of the sadness is to go straight through it with a clear head. Believe it or not, it's the fastest way as well. It won't be long until you do feel better.
*
If you were the one who got "dumped," avoid the temptation to chase after your ex, ask them questions about what went wrong, and try to "fix" everything. It will only strengthen your ex's resolve to push you away, and will make the breakup much harder and more painful than it needs to be.
*
If your ex has done things to hurt you (other than breaking up), don't drop to that level. It's pathetic and cruel.
*
Although you may be tempted to take revenge, or send notification through third parties about your great success in life without them - don't exert the energy. Allow things to run their course without your intervention - they have a way of working out just fine in the end.
*
Never contemplate suicide. You are ending a relationship - and even though it's hard to believe it, you are not ending life itself. Give yourself time to recover from the shock and sadness without entertaining thoughts of harming yourself. If you find you can't shake these thoughts after a few days, then you need to seek psychiatric help immediately.
*
Avoid checking up on any online social networking page (Bebo, MySpace, Facebook) to see what your ex is up to. If you think you'll be too tempted, just cut loose and quit the site. The alternative is checking one day and seeing your former squeeze with another girl/guy. There is such thing as being self-protective and avoiding unnecessary pain.


[edit] Things You'll Need

*
You can do it without the following items, but they are highly recommended for the most rewarding (yes, really!) experience possible:
o
A few shoulders to cry on. It really does help to talk about it, preferably to more than just one person (if only to give your best friend some relief).
o
A Teddy Bear (for hugs and to talk to at 4am when everyone else is asleep.) Dogs and cats will do too, although pets may not always give you quite that loving sympathetic gaze and undivided attention that bears are so good at. (But Avoid the stuffed animals/gifts they gave you)
o
Hot showers (As much as you may not even want to get out of bed, much less get in the shower - *sniffle* "who cares if I wash my hair now, anyway?" - you will feel better after a shower, or a nice long soak in the tub. Hot water relaxes tense muscles, soothes anxiety and refreshes puffy, tear-stained faces.
o
Paper and pens (a journal is perfect, paints and glue and other illustration tools, even better!)
o
Funny movies and absorbing novels can be a great temporary respite and laughter can really lighten your mood.
o
If you're one of the millions who try to fill that empty sad feeling through your mouth (which usually doesn't work because food isn't what you're missing), fill the fridge with celery sticks and other light snacks that you won't regret later if you just have to munch.
o
Do be sure to eat though! Heartbreak can often rob you of your appetite, but be sure not to to punish yourself and remember to think about you as you are the most important person now. Being ill from malnutrition won't help you be strong enough to move on.
o
Your sense of humor and your knowledge that "this too shall pass".
o
Lots of tissues.
o
Friends and family are supportive for some people, and if they are they will do anything and everything to help you heal and be happy again. Go with them, even if you don't feel like it - you won't regret it. If you have unsupportive people in your life, you need to seek support elsewhere.
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